I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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