just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
