I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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