If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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