Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
