i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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