Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
