No awkward lesbian experiences without me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize