just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
