We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
