playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
