He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
