I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
