Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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