i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
