New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
