Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
