drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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