Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize