I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
