OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
