Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
