Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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