Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize