The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
