If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize