Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize