It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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