last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
