I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
