go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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