so explain again why im purple
no
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
