i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
