My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
