hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
