Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
