you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
