the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
