I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize