my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
