Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
