Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
