I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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