Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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