Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
