my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
