dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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