Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
