to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
sex in a hospital.. check
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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