i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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