She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
