I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
