I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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