i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize