We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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