I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
