i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
