champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
