I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
