After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
only if we run a train.
done.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
