My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
did i just pee glitter
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize