Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
