Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
