you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
