her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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