Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
