Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
