Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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