so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
